This is how the existence is and this is what you don't want but you have no option because of teh way you look at life and living for today without thinking about tomorrow and leaving yesterday behind and the search and desire to know everything is pain .....
while writing this, one of teh post by Mr. Bojangles is ruining in my head(http://fdiminished.blogspot.com/2007/05/in-theatre-of-absurd.html) here are few words from the same
"So maybe I should rest: good things may happen from toil but truly wondrous
things happen only by chance. Aha, yet one must not sacrifice skill waiting for
that magical tingle as one could be left with neither."
Cheers!!!!